Why Self-Preservation is Important


Sherley is a Haitian-American flight attendant who served eight years in the US Army Reserve. Her journey with Femme Naturelle began in 2012 as a way to build a safe space, a community to uplift and empower women in relationships transitioning out of crisis. She resides in New Jersey with her husband and two children.

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Why Self-Preservation is Important

This article was written by Lynn Joseph on behalf of Sherley Altidor

More now than ever before, it is so important to guard your heart and soul and mind. The news, the political climate, and so much in the world can so easily make anyone want to give up, recluse, and have little to no desire to contribute to society. It’s creation that keeps us going. With that creation comes creating a space for our peace of mind. That space looks differently for everybody but is so necessary nowadays in order to make it from day to night and into the next.  Read about my heartbreak How To Make A Relationship Work Even After A Heartbreak

What is self-preservation? It is protecting oneself from harm. These such boundaries can show themselves in an endless amount of ways, like unfollowing people on social media who project false and unhealthy standards of beauty, for example. It can mean turning the Do Not Disturb setting on your phone past dinner time so your mind is less cluttered each night. Or it can come in the form of surrounding yourself with people in person or on Instagram who do nothing but drop love bombs all day. Self-preservation is just as much fuel for an introvert as it is for an extrovert, it simply manifests in different ways.  

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Self-preservation is about putting the oxygen mask on yourself first so that you’re able to help others with theirs. Self-preservation is about allowing yourself to be available to be the best version of yourself, the most selfless you can be. The opposite of selfishness. There is definitely a fine line when discussion self-preservation as the topic can quickly pivot to survival of the fittest. Some would go so far as to say that kill or be killed is in our nature. So when you are looking to find ways to self-preserve, check your intentions behind needing to step away or center yourself.

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Check in with yourself each season to determine if the boundaries you’ve set for yourself need fine tuning. These types of check ups force you to see if you’re in a healthy or unhealthy relationship with expectations… the expectations you have for yourself as an individual and those that you have for yourself as a contributing member to society.

Self-preservation can become unhealthy when boundaries become buffers and buffers become walls and walls become excuses not to learn and grow from those around you. Self-preservation gives you the time that you need to regroup as you shape your best self. Self-preservation is thoughtful. Survival of the fittest is based on fear while self-preservation is based on love. Survival of the fittest is conditional but self-preservation allows you the space and time you need to create, as best you can, a peace of mind for everyone around you. Self-preservation is about doing the work (in our own way) to get to patience, confidence, and what we all desire… unconditional love.

My best advice would be to keep in mind that survival of the fittest is the brake while self-preservation is the gas. Are you going or are you stuck? Go. You can determine how slow or fast you go on this journey. Just remember that balance is key. Keep the distractions behind you in the rearview. They will always be there. Let them push you forward. Don’t give them the chance to beep and run the road. You run the road. So take ahold of the wheel and hold tight.

How do you maintain your self-preservation?

Articles you may enjoy on self:

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Why Self-Preservation is Important

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, I will get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through any of my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

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