“New Year, New Me” What Does That Mean


Sherley is a Haitian-American flight attendant who served eight years in the US Army Reserve. Her journey with Femme Naturelle began in 2012 as a way to build a safe space, a community to uplift and empower women in relationships transitioning out of crisis. She resides in New Jersey with her husband and two children.

Hi, I'm sherley

listeners' stories, advice, and questions

This article was written by Lynn Joseph.

There’s a lot of emphasis on “New Year, New Me” at the end and beginning of every year. What strikes me as interesting is the lack of acknowledging the good and automatically assuming that new means better. I’d say it’s about time we examine what it truly means to better ourselves and what that really looks like in the mirror.

I challenge you to take a step back and think about what did work in your life in this past year. Examine how you want to continue in that growth, not necessarily as an entirely new person, but changed for good. I don’t think changing for good should feel so alien to us that it feels “New.”

Also readWhy Self-Preservation is Important

You really have to decide that the changes that you will be making are realistic, long term changes that make sense for you. Because it might be a new year but you will always be you. A constantly evolving you, but you nonetheless. There’s only one you. If you want to glow up, let’s glow up! But we’re not caterpillars turning into butterflies. Oftentimes, we’re butterflies who don’t know how to fly. We’re butterflies who don’t even know the beauty we already hold.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to incorporate a more extravagant form of self care, like going to a spa once every season. Maybe you’re interested in checking out more books from the library. Maybe you want to take a business class. Maybe you have always wanted to invest in yourself but the “new” comes into play when you actually take steps to make it happen. If that’s new to you. There’s nothing wrong with trying and trying again. It’s not necessarily new and calling it something new and shiny may not always work in your favor. You have to decide how you move best moving forward. You have to determine the language that best suits the path that you are taking because words have power and staying in the “New” may keep you from steady growth, steady opportunity.

Taking these steps might be new to you but you’ve had these ideas, whatever those ideas are inside of you, permeating for some time. The fruition of these ideas may be new to those around you but it doesn’t mean you haven’t been working hard toward a goal the entire time. So many overnight successes take almost a decade or more to really flourish. Whether you are looking for success in your personal life, career, etc… you must not beat yourself up over not achieving a specific goal by a specific time and feeling like you have to present a New You to reset that clock.

A reset is a great thing but know what’s worth waiting for. So many good things take time. It might not all happen in a year. Maybe you’ve been interested in buying stock for the first time and you finally want to take the plunge. The financial reward is years away but taking that step now could transform your life.

Also readSimple Lifestyle Changes That Can Help You Deal With Stress Better

Do not pigeonhole your growth or try to toss out an older version of you because of arbitrary deadlines that were set at the beginning of the year. You know if this message applies to you. If it does, it’s time to get real about your goals. Not just writing a list of things that you’d like to do. This should be a list of more than intentions. How do you expect to achieve these goals to grow into a better you? To heal any past wounds? Lay out a plan. It’s easy to make a list of things we want. But what about the steps it takes to get it all? Compartmentalize however much you need to. Do what you need to do to have a plan laid out in front of you so that when life gets overwhelming, you have something to center yourself on. If we’re goal setting, we need to be more mindful of the setting.

There are a handful of podcasts that I would like to recommend for people who are interested in taking that next step when it comes to tapping into that potential that feels new but just needs to be lit again. The spark was always there.

Here’s a list of people who are on fire.

Business Shet Podcast – While the host of this show, Mimi G is known for Mimi G Style, you do not have to be interested in sewing or fashion in general to get the most out of this podcast. In fact, all I’d say you need to have is a notebook in hand in order to take notes and do the homework that she doles out and by the end of listening, you’ll most likely have done more work in a shorter amount of time on your business goals than you would have without it. She pushes you to work! If this is what you’re looking for, give this podcast a listen. If you’re more interested in the video format, you can also get the video podcast on YouTube.

How Did This Get Made Podcast – For all of the entrepreneurs out there or anyone thinking about becoming an entrepreneur, you must listen to this podcast. NPR interviews the creators of some of the biggest companies that North America has heard of and they walk us through how their businesses began (some even talking hard numbers). It is one of the most fascinating interview series out there and it will save you a whole lot of grief knowing what you’re in for and what could be ahead of you. Trust me, these interviews will stay with you for a long time and be the wise mentor that you might be looking for. If you need that push to keep up with the hustle, listen to this podcast.

Bad With Money with Gaby Dunn – If you’re not familiar with Gaby Dunn, she’s a YouTuber who is known for being very open and candid about her life. In this instance, the candor comes on the topic of money and how terribly bad she is with it. She walks us through the steps that she takes to better herself in season one of the podcast. Season two goes international during which she examines the relationships people have with money in other countries.  But I am getting ahead of myself. Basically, if you want to hear someone call up their bank and ask how many times they’ve had overdraft fees, someone who has had a book deal in the six figures and is still a hot mess with money but always actively trying to understand it, this podcast is definitely worth listening to. It very much has the attitude of we’re going to learn about this and grow in our financial wisdom together which is not as often the vibe of many other financial podcasts. Plus, Gaby makes it a point to interview as many women and minorities in the field as possible, because we’re all tired of hearing about money from straight white men. The rest of us can have it all too. Gaby’s here to help us figure it out.

Jesus and Jollof – You don’t have to believe in Jesus to listen to this podcast and receive some of the most incredible gems from these wildly talented, super smart, and dedicated women. These women know the paths that they are meant to be on and they lean in and say yes and also know when to say no. They strategize their next steps, study the steps that have been taken, and reassess. If this is what you need help with or encouragement with, listen to this podcast. You will not be disappointed. The podcast is currently on hiatus, which is the perfect time to catch up and amp you up for a whole new year to step further into your life’s path.

Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness – If you’re looking to be enlightened on a variety of topics from gun violence to getting the tea on sunscreen and everything in between, Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness interviews experts each week in his effort to do something about his curiosity on certain issues. I’m recommending this podcast because it’s so easy to be so hyper-focused on what’s going on in our own lives but quite frankly, it’s irresponsible to not pay attention to the world around us.  Jonathan’s podcast gives us that balance, brings us what we need to be curious about on a platter. During the end of the year when we all think about ways to better ourselves, staying well informed about the state of not just the nation but humanity and everyday living, should be on the list. By having a grasp on what’s happening around us, we can dive deeper into our destinies. Because our goals are bigger than us. Our goals aren’t really even about us. They are about the people we will touch when we achieve them. What better way to get to know those people then to get curious and learn? Enter, this podcast.

Also readSelf Care In The Form of Reading

If any of these podcasts help you, please be sure to drop a comment and let us know. If you have yet to listen, what are some of your goals for the new year and what steps are you going to take to make them happen?

Articles you may enjoy:

Why Are Women Labeled Strong

Why Self-Care is Vital / A How to Starter Guide to Self-Care

Why You Should Embrace Being Single

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, I will get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through any of my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.

Share the love!

Comments +

Leave a Reply


Femme Parler, which in french means, “woman talk,” is a podcast speaking to women about regaining our power after a crisis in a relationship. 


featured BLOG post

say goodbye to being the side chick

When you find yourself really settling with the reality that you are the side chick, when you find yourself tired of the games and/or the complacency, it’s time to ask yourself a few questions.


featured BLOG post

why is therapy important?

Solo therapy, partnered therapy, or group therapy... what exactly are the benefits? If you’re still on the fence about whether or not you should go and if therapy can really do anything for you... this post is for you.


join our facebook group

be apart of the community

A place that all women who are transitioning out of a crisis in their relationships - looking  to get support, share encouragement, and connect with others.







The place where we chat about obstacles that come out of relationships and how to rise up from them. Self-love, marriage, infidelity, sex, heartbreak, and more.