This article was written by Tania Bhattacharya on behalf of Sherley Altidor.
Heartbreaks suck. But not all aspects of life are in our control. What’s more ‘amusing’ is, the times when things go out of control are also the times when we need to take charge and control our emotions, our sanity, our life.
Have you been cheated on? Of course, it wasn’t something that you were expecting. None of us do. But shits happen. Now you have two options: call it quit and part your ways OR try to fix it and give it your best shot to make your relationship last. If you want to opt for route 2, here is our two cents:
It is natural to feel angry and betrayed. It is not uncommon for people to cry for days on end, to stop eating properly, lose sleep, and lose weight. Recuperating from such a testing time in your life is not easy. You need time to vent out all the emotions. Allow yourself that.
Channelize your feelings:
It is unwise to resort to unhealthy means. Although many might be inclined to give in to drinking, smoking, and other such things, you should do your best to stay away from such apparent stress-buster shortcuts. Instead, channelize your emotions through music, writing, or taking up a hobby.
Don’t blame yourself:
A perfect relationship is a myth. If your partner has cheated on you, there is no reason to think that you were responsible and there were certain ‘shortcomings’ in your relationship which led your partner to someone else.
Be open to communication:
If you are willing to give your relationship another chance, you must be open to discussions. It is going to be ‘ugly’ at times, but there is no way out. You need to hear your partner out and give your partner the chance to come out clear.
Work as a team:
Making a relationship work takes team effort. If you want your relationship to survive the ‘attack’ of third party intrusion, be with your partner. If he/ she makes genuine effort to address the issue, appreciate it and cooperate.
Making things work especially after things go bad is not an easy affair. It needs constant attention and hard work. Put diligent effort at mending things.
Appreciate the small things:
Is your partner genuinely repentant and doing his/ her best to make you feel special? Maybe your partner planned a movie night or got you a bunch of flowers? Appreciate these small but sincere attempts.
Don’t expect things to get normal overnight. Just like you, even your partner needs time to come out of the mess. Just like you are hurt, your partner too, in all probability, feels guilty. Both of you will need time, so stay put.
Get the help you need:
If you think you need expert advice, don’t hesitate to go for it. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it.
Look at the positive side:
Take this experience as a learning. Maybe, you will be able to get a fresh perspective of your relationship. Are there certain things that can improve? Are there certain things that you guys need to work on? Embrace the learning and then enrich your relationship.
Regaining trust on a cheating partner is difficult, but if you think you love each other, it is worth giving a try. Work on it when there is still time so that you don’t have to live with regret.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, I will get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through any of my links, at no cost to you. Please read my disclosure for more info.
A place that all women who are transitioning out of a crisis in their relationships - looking to get support, share encouragement, and connect with others.