This episode is a continuation of the previous episode about marriage from the point of view of a single woman. Sherley dives deeper with our guest, Lakeshia.We discuss communication and sex in marriage, sexual compatibility and sex as a chore, as well as relinquishing control outside of the bedroom in a marriage.
There are two things that I strongly believe should happen before marriage—sex and living with the person that you want to spend your life with before the vows have been exchanged. It is so important for two people who are going to be together to live together before marriage. The reason I say that is because I strongly feel that one really, truly has to know who he or she is going to be with day in and day out for the rest of their lives if the person plans to spend their life with that person until death do them part. Committing to live with another person for life is no small decision. Everyone is not compatible to live with. It’s best not to be surprised if you can avoid it. By living together before, you can gauge what you are willing and not willing to put up with and compromise on and learn a rhythm of living together so that there is harmony and no huge learning curve right after the high of the honeymoon.
Body positivity and sex positivity are topics that are severely under-addressed when it comes to feminism. So much of the discussion is wrapped around equality and equity regarding the opposite sex in the workplace and in politics that so often, everything else that entails what it means to be a women gets forgotten. So often, the discussion about all of the incredible people that make up who we are as a collective of women, which is so diverse, gets lost. It’s time to celebrate what makes us women. We are not a monolith. Sex can be messy but it’s not a dirty thing to talk about. We all do it. So why not learn how to do it well, how to find out what works best for us, and how to best be safe while we explore our sexual identity?