There are two things that I strongly believe should happen before marriage—sex and living with the person that you want to spend your life with before the vows have been exchanged. It is so important for two people who are going to be together to live together before marriage. The reason I say that is because I strongly feel that one really, truly has to know who he or she is going to be with day in and day out for the rest of their lives if the person plans to spend their life with that person until death do them part. Committing to live with another person for life is no small decision. Everyone is not compatible to live with. It’s best not to be surprised if you can avoid it. By living together before, you can gauge what you are willing and not willing to put up with and compromise on and learn a rhythm of living together so that there is harmony and no huge learning curve right after the high of the honeymoon.
The first time going to a gynecologist can be nerve wracking but that’s normal. Do your research. Ask loved ones for recommendations. Decide if you feel comfortable with a female or male doctor. That is your choice. You must feel comfortable going to the practitioner that you will be visiting on a regular basis. It’s important to have that trust and be comfortable with someone you will be exposing yourself to. Let them know if you prefer small talk or not if you find that one or the other is more calming during your visits. Establish a healthy relationship with your practitioner from the get go so that everyone is on one accord and the anxiety of visiting the gynecologist dwindles.
The death of George Floyd has made the world all aware of what is going on and forced those who have turned a blind eye to the issue to choose to be on the right side of history or not. Some people whose eyes are being opened and want to work to change this country for the better may not know what to say or what to do now. We are not obligated to do the work for them but I encourage you to encourage those coming to you to continue to seek out the knowledge and resources that they need to educate themselves and support Black lives.
When I was younger, I always knew that I wanted children, regardless of if a man thought that I was fit to be his wife or partner. I knew that I didn’t want to leave this world without reproducing. As a little girl, yes, I wanted to get married and have the fairytale wedding that society sells us but I also knew that having children was very important to me. Whether you’re single or not, bringing life into this world and/or shaping and molding a life from childhood into adulthood is nothing short of miraculous.
Did you know that nearly 1 in 5 girls in the U.S. have either left school early or missed school entirely because of a lack of access to period products? I know what it’s like being a young girl dealing with her period for the first time and worrying about getting up from my seat leaving a heavy red stain behind me.