This episode is a continuation of the previous episode about marriage from the point of view of a single woman. Sherley dives deeper with our guest, Lakeshia.We discuss communication and sex in marriage, sexual compatibility and sex as a chore, as well as relinquishing control outside of the bedroom in a marriage.
Has your point of view changed about marriage over the years? Do you think that marriage is a legal trap? Are you single and think of marriage differently? Do you feel that marriage is the right Christian thing to do? Are you unsure if marriage is something that you really want? In this episode, we speak with our friend and guest, Lakeshia about marriage from the point of view of a single woman in her 40s. Sherley and Lakeshia discuss the importance of being strong in our individual selves, validation, communication, evolving as we grow and allowing space for our partners to grow, and so much more.
There are two things that I strongly believe should happen before marriage—sex and living with the person that you want to spend your life with before the vows have been exchanged. It is so important for two people who are going to be together to live together before marriage. The reason I say that is because I strongly feel that one really, truly has to know who he or she is going to be with day in and day out for the rest of their lives if the person plans to spend their life with that person until death do them part. Committing to live with another person for life is no small decision. Everyone is not compatible to live with. It’s best not to be surprised if you can avoid it. By living together before, you can gauge what you are willing and not willing to put up with and compromise on and learn a rhythm of living together so that there is harmony and no huge learning curve right after the high of the honeymoon.
Every relationship is different and has its own sets of needs so there is no one size fits all answer here. I cannot tell you what is best for your relationship. It really comes down to the two of you sitting down to figure out the wisest path for your future. There are many factors to consider; finances, work, children, family, rented and/or owned property, healthcare, and so on. One great way to begin to figure out what’s best for you is couple’s therapy. If you’re able to afford therapy, consider talking through all of your decisions in therapy which will help you see what you are emotionally ready for as well. Because it’s not just a physical, tangible decision. This decision will affect you mentally and emotionally as well.