There are two things that I strongly believe should happen before marriage—sex and living with the person that you want to spend your life with before the vows have been exchanged. It is so important for two people who are going to be together to live together before marriage. The reason I say that is because I strongly feel that one really, truly has to know who he or she is going to be with day in and day out for the rest of their lives if the person plans to spend their life with that person until death do them part. Committing to live with another person for life is no small decision. Everyone is not compatible to live with. It’s best not to be surprised if you can avoid it. By living together before, you can gauge what you are willing and not willing to put up with and compromise on and learn a rhythm of living together so that there is harmony and no huge learning curve right after the high of the honeymoon.
In the ideal world, people would never take advantage of simplicity. But unfortunately, we have not been handed down the ‘ideal’ world. Especially if you are a woman and/or Black, Indigenous, another person of color, or marginalized in any way. In our world, we need to be extra cautious, alert, and prepared for anything (not just the good but the bad too, no matter how much we would rather not think about it). We are affected by everything around us, whether we realize it or not. Having the ability to anchor ourselves in wisdom will no doubt guide us as we find ourselves in situations where it pays not to be naïve. While the saying, “ignorance is bliss” may work at times and may very well be a blessing in disguise, more often than not, ignorance is a lie that we cannot bear to keep.
Authenticity is hard to find (whether online or in real life) but once you find it, it makes being on these social media platforms worth it. Follows and Follow Backs may not be genuine. Some people are only interested in a certain number of followers or certain people who they deem as important to be following them. But without engaging with the people who actually are reaching out to engage with you and without being your authentic self and providing a space to talk about these things that kindred spirits want to talk about, there is no reason to follow and be a part of your online journey. When you find those people online that aren’t just about the celebrity of the internet and really care about what they’re talking about, whether or not you have all of the same ideals, if their discussion is respectful and is a magnet to you and your personality, follow and engage. That’s how we keep the right conversations in the forefront. These are the tweets and status updates worth sharing.